Grey Azul

France is dying again
in fights
and burning tires,
beyond the seventeenth
beyond the colors
of the world.

Red and blue and yellow,
I wore them like capes
in my minds eye.

Watching this
is like watching clouds scud across the sky
or getting on the bus again

that long black cold bus
and the warm damp night air
like Florida
and the sky like a dark gem

and you crying as you kissed my cheeks
and we swore never to forget
or swapping stories

you slipping a bracelet into my fingers
with a shy smile
and warmth like I had been hugged
and you were full of Jesus.

a wedding,
and joy.
“no one can unring this bell”
I don’t know what was said
but we all understand.

another bus,
loud and laughing as our hair blew
you taught me a word
and I taught you one
and we laughed because I could not say the ‘r’s correctly

I am still bad at that, by the way

You being brave, despite your story
and another You, not knowing the story to come
I miss you
You are one of the bravest souls I’ve ever met

‘Si, mi pappa.’
My favorite Spanish phrase.
You taught it to me, with,
‘James mi amigo.’
and you filled up with light,
and that’s why there are diamonds running down my face
in rivers.

I learned words,
and not to fear,
and how the world works,
and how to see souls
in your fields.

that’s why I stand utterly still,
and stop feeling the turn of the earth,
(which I am accustomed to)
at your name.
at all your names.

Do the fields have cracks in them?
And with every new picture
I see those kids
My kids
Not mine.
And the light,
and reflections of Jesus,
and that’s why
the pictures break me.
Is this how it felt,
when the world ended again in France?

No. It is different.
Because you are a piece of me.
So many colors
are ones I have been taught to love
You are three.
You are hair-raising car rides
on tires.

There are clouds on the sky,
the sky, that blue with no English name,
like a new bike ride
or a green horizon,
but fainter,
like a kite.

And the clouds are thickening
cotton bands,
crashing upwards beyond the
carpet layer overhead.
France is dying again.

Grey azul.


[Cover image by ruurmo on Flickr.  Thanks to Mark for test-reading. 🙂 ]


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