hope all things

(learning to heal as you walk through, and waiting for small resurrections)

you grab my hands
fist over fist
even when it makes you wince
and we say we’re gonna make it
even though it’s harder than ever before

i read a post today
about how we curl around our hearts
like armadillos
out of fear

and some days that thread of grief
pulses like an artery, not a vein,
flooding with fear like carbon monoxide
and stress locks down my muscles and my eyes
so I stare down in the dark
and fiddle with camera shutters

i don’t just forget to look for the tapestry
i forget it’s imprint on existence
and sleep and food don’t fix that problem,
just blood sugar

it’s a problem thicker than flesh & blood
and yet you hang onto my hand
and when i remember
to uncurl my heart and that blood is
a part of my living
i start to remember to look up

it’s been a year of
paris.grant.weeping.fires.injustice.stress.hurt.grief.
fog.distraction.school buses.fires.cancer.bruises.fear.
plus new things
(AAAAH)
\\
and i keep curling up so tightly around myself
that i pull away from people
and you
and God
(it’s very unsunchaserly of me, i know)

and then i wonder
where everyone has gone
& if anybody loves me
and it spirals down

dead-patience will tear you up inside,
make your soul groan and your heart ache
when nothing changes
and your bruises are still tender.

but faithfulness is a garment that is put on every day
and a different heart beats inside me,
in this flaw-ridden soul-vessel i live in
so i can lay my troubles down
in the dust
and if i trust the One who put blood in my veins
and stop picking my troubles back up
i cannot hold,
much less carry,
and cling to Him,
i uncurl and Love flows in
and hope all things believe all things endure all things
unfurls in me like that tapestry in the night sky
and

uncurled: you & i.
we carry each other
(fist over fist)      and the weight of everything is light
with new oxygen in our veins.

unsplash-map-with-you

“I have learned to kiss the wave that slams
me into the Rock of Ages.”
– Spurgeon

For Further Reading:
Seeds of Love – Lanier Ivester
The World at Night – Lanier Ivester

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4 thoughts on “hope all things

  1. This. This is beautiful, Elizabeth! ❤
    Love you, friend! You're so gifted with words and capturing things like iridescent snowflakes of art and beauty and truth. *sending lots of hugs + love + prayers*

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